Sometimes, our hope and dreams aren't the ones God has planned for us. I've been praying for a sign for whether or not our family is supposed to grow from 4 to more. After a trip to my awesome doctor, I found the answer(s) I've been praying for.
I had a smear (oh they are so joyful aren't they!) and the results have come back as abnormal. I've been reassured that this does not necessarily mean anything bad, but merely a case of being more aware of "things" down there! But......that's not all. I asked about the pains that I thought were related to PCOS, but in actual fact, the pains are the result of a terrible 2nd birth which has left my uterus so incredibly scarred that even if I fell pregnant, it would most probably (always) end in a miscarriage as the embryo could not attach itself.
On the bright side, I no longer have to wonder whether it will happen or not. I prayed for an answer, and I got one. Didn't mean that it was going to be good. So really, I'm left with a bitter sweet symphony. I thank the Good Lord that I experienced pregnancy and birth. Now, I just need to rely on Him to get me through the experience of toddler hood and teenagerdom! :)
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